It's a Illness

My parents really have a Illness. It is called:
"IhavetospendeverypennyIhaveeverearnedandwilleverearnitis" It is something that comes out on christmas and it will NEVER EVER have a cure!!!! They again bought my children more things than they can play with. It truely drives me mad, because every year I tell them not to go nuts, but they can not help themselves (the illness) and they do it anyway. I now have to go through the old toys and give some things away. This will at least help someone. If someone finds a cure(with the exception of physical harm) let me know.

Jingle Bells

Jingle bells, Batman smells
Robin lays an egg.
Batmobile lost a wheel,
and Joker got away!

HO HO HO Merry Christmas ALL!
I hope you have a very merry!
Love ya'll
Jen

P.O.T.W.

I'm looking at these two pictures and I really think my daughter looks like my mother! It's all in the eyes for me, but everything else looks similar too. Anyway, I love this picture of Jackie, even thoug the water bottle is in it too. Black and white or color, it doesn't matter she is beautiful!

Christmas Love

I read this story on another Blog that I keep track of and was completely enthrawled by it. I found it to be profound, beautiful and an example of the true meaning of Christmas. I hope anyone reading will feel the same way.

***********************************************************************************

Each December, I vowed to make Christmas a calm and peaceful experience. I had cut back on nonessential obligations -- extensive card writing, endless baking, decorating, and even overspending. Yet still, I found myself exhausted, unable to appreciate the precious family moments, and of course, the true meaning of Christmas. My son, Nicholas, was in kindergarten that year. It was an exciting season for a six-year-old. For weeks, he'd been memorizing songs for his school's "Winter Pageant." I didn't have the heart to tell him I'd be working the night of the production. Unwilling to miss his shining moment, I spoke with his teacher. She assured me there'd be a dress rehearsal the morning of the presentation. All parents unable to attend that evening were welcome to come then. Fortunately, Nicholas seemed happy with the compromise. So, the morning of the dress rehearsal, I filed in ten minutes early, found a spot on the cafeteria floor and sat down. Around the room, I saw several other parents quietly scampering to their seats. As I waited, the students were led into the room. Each class, accompanied by their teacher, sat cross-legged on the floor. Then, each group, one by one, rose to perform their song. Because the public school system had long stopped referring to the holiday as Christmas," I didn't expect anything other than fun, commercial entertainment - songs of reindeer, Santa Claus, snowflakes and good cheer. So, when my son's class rose to sing, "Christmas Love," I was slightly taken aback by its bold title. Nicholas was aglow, as were all of his classmates, adorned in fuzzy mittens, red sweaters, and bright snowcaps upon their heads. Those in the front row-center stage -- held up large letters, one by one, to spell out the title of the song. As the class would sing "C is for Christmas," a child would hold up the letter C. Then, "H is for Happy," and on and on, until each child holding up his portion had presented the complete message, "Christmas Love." The performance was going smoothly, until suddenly, we noticed her; a small, quiet, girl in the front row holding the letter "M" upside down -- totally unaware her letter "M" appeared as a "W."

The audience of 1st through 6th graders snickered at this little one's
mistake. But she had no idea they were laughing at her, so she stood tall,
proudly holding her "W." Although many teachers tried to shush the children,
the laughter continued until the last letter was raised, and we all saw it
together. A hush came over the audience and eyes began to widen. In that
instant, we understood the reason we were there, why we celebrated the
holiday in the first place, why even in the chaos, there was a purpose for
our festivities.

For when the last letter was held high, the message read loud and clear:

"C H R I S T W A S L O V E"

And, I believe, He still is. Amazed in His presence... Humbled by His love.

May each of you have a Merry Christmas as you reflect on His Amazing Love
for us...

picture of the week

My first born, and really as sweet as he looks. We are fishing with uncle Franz and he is a happy as he looks! With the sepia tone( I'm working with that a little more lately) I think it's the bomb!

home

I know I've said this before, but really....thank God he comes home today! I've been a single mom all week and I'm tired and lonely! I can't imagine doing this all of the time, it really puts single motherhood in a different perspective. I have great admiration for a woman who has either chosen or been given the sole responsibility of raising her children. WOW!!! Hats off to you ladies and may God bless each and every one of you. I, myself, would be an alcoholic or a drug addict(but NOT Meth. have you seen what it can do to your skin, body, mind and hair and don't get me started on the teeth? Yuck!!! I am way too vain!) if I had to go it alone everyday. Anyway, I have found my strength and my limitations through this experience and what I have found is that I can do it and life won't fall apart, but I HATE every minute of everyday! Oh, and did I mention the no sex thing. Yeah, I have just found out how much I like it and when the opportunity is gone, well I want it more!!!

On top of all that my car (the red one) won't start and it happens to be behind the van so I'm scrambling to get Jonathan to school and I have to skip Julia's class activity thing. So here I am stuck without a car for a while. CRAP It was a topper to a emotionally draining week!!
Now, when does his flight arrive....

Picture of the Week

A tribute to my grandpa...the best man in the world and the person I used as an expample when looking for a good man to marry. My husband is just like him.
Funny, friendly, likable and loving... he will be my first love forever. Please God take care of him...I'm not ready yet.

Gramps...

My grandpa has cancer...and I don't want to talk about it.
The idea of him dying is overwhelming and the hardest death I will ever have to deal with. I am crying inside (and outside) and I pray that God will keep him here for me. I love him with all of my heart, and I can't see my life without him. That's all, maybe I will have more about it later, but for now I don't want to talk about it.

Picture of the week

How cute are they. This is this years Christmas card. I did nothing to enhance the picture. I just cropped it to get rid of the incidentals. They are all happy and laughing! It is what people should see when getting pictures of the kids. It's not always crazy. Although getting this picture wasn't that easy, The two big kids can stay put for as long as I need them to that wasn't a problem...making them smile like they are happy is. And Jackie, well she doesn't want to stay put or smile and I practically had to step on her to get her down and don't even ask me how we got the hats to stay on... but they all had fun after a while and the end result makes me feel warm and in love.
What a great start to the Christmas season!

Smack on the face

I smacked Jonathan today and I feel so guilty about it. I was trying to get them ready for school and he was really trying my patience and he swore. "Oh dang it". I know it is just dang, but he said it in the right context and in the right tone and after many many warnings not to use that phrase, I had had enough and I smacked him on the cheek. I felt instantly bad about it and apologized to him for doing it, but what was done was done. On top of that I couldn't send him to school with a red smack mark on his cheek, because in this day and age one could have DCFS on their doorstep for less than that. So I dawdled until the redness had mostly subsided and drove him to school about a minute late. I think I am upset, not because I smacked him, (I do swat my children occasionally)but because of my state of mind when I smacked him. I was REALLY mad and I have really tried to control the temper that was given to me through genetics(thanks Dad) and I felt a little out of control and it was an impulse that I work VERY hard at keeping in check. I know that tomorrow is another day and I was definitely not beating him by any means, but the guilt is still there and will remain probably for the rest of the day.

Thankful

On this Thanksgiving I want to take time to remember the things I am thankful for.

1. My husband, you are the love of my life.
2. My children, Jonathan you are our laughter in the day. Julia, you are the joy surrounding us all. Jaclyn, you are the light for all of us to see.
3. My family, how much we rely on your support and love.
4. My friends, through good times and bad we've always stuck together.
5. My house, as old as you are thanks for not falling apart.
and Finally,
6. God, you surround all that I am thankful for and protect us. It is because of you I have all of this in the first place....Thank you.

P.O.T.W.

What can I say... I love this picture of Julia. She is sweet and innocent with her head tilted and a perfect smile. I deepened the sepia tone and enhanced some of the shadows. but over all this is her. BEAUTIFUL!!!!!

picture of the week

This is a different mum on the same outing. I zoomed in on the center, isn't it cool. All of the little twists that form the center of the flower. I saturated the color just a little to really give it a little more wow factor. I love it. Next time I will do a picture of a person. I just neede some more time to tweak it a little.

God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit

I went on a retreat on Saturday. It is one of the ways I've decided to reconnect with my spiritual side. I really enjoyed it. It was all women and we listened and talked to each other, it was a spritual and enlightening experience. How do you explain something that was truly an act of God? I guess you don't, but I can say that I will forever be changed because of it. I will continue my journey down this path and try harder to see him in others and to listen to his voice. I will take the time to be still and take it all in, appreciating the great things that I have, the things he has done for me.
Yeah God!

Nerver mind...I take it back

Seriously, home for 2 hours and I'm already thinking he should leave again. Although I know in my heart the prior entry is the truth tonight I can't help but to think,never mind...I take it back.

Home at last!

My husband comes home this afternoon and I really can't wait! I missed him more than ever this week. My life seems to be getting more and more complicated and his help to me is priceless. We are a real team and when he is gone I feel like a part of me is gone too. I'm really lucky to have the best husband and friend ever. I don't think I know another man that does as much as he does. Yes, I like to complain about him, like all wives do, but I am here to say that he is the best and I wouldn't trade him for anything! As we go through life struggling about money and the kids, we always seem to attack it and conquer it together. I can not wait to see what the future holds for us, and I pray that God will keep our family healthy and happy forever.

Picture of the week

So I've decided to follow this other website where a women is publishing a picture of the day... and although I would love to do that I decided that all I could do was a picture of the week. So every Wednesday I am going to post a specific picture that I love and talk about it.
I've decided that the first picture will be one that I've been working on for a while. It is a picture of a mum that I saw while picking apples. I loved the yellow, it makes me feel happy when I look at it.

You will notice that I will have a mix of people(my family and friends) and flowers and such. But mostly my children, not only because I take the most pictures of them, but because they are what I am passionate about.

Halloween

We had a great Halloween this year. By the way it is my most favorite holiday there is. I love the dress-up, the laughter, the fun, the candy...everything! The children looked fantastic in their costumes! Jonathan was a Gladiator/knight, Julia was Cinderella princess, and Jaclyn was Pebbles Flintsone. They were SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cute!Here they are at Grandma Joan's house the week before, ready to trick-o-treat in her 60+ community. We had a great time there as ususal. Grandma opened her house to her family. All of my Uncles, Aunts, and Cousins were there, as well as, one of my brothers and his children, and of course, my mother. I love being there, and making my grandparents so happy and proud. I know how good they feel when we all make an effort to be together. It makes me feel good too.

Here are some Halloween pics on the actual day! It was freeeeezing outside so the kids were dressed in costumes and coats(and lots of undergarments) My neighbors and niece and nephew all trick-or-treated around the neighborhood and then we congregated at my house for chili and cupcakes. It was one of the best Halloweens ever! I can't wait until next year.

The Prayer

So it was my birthday on Friday, and we went out to dinner...alone. It was great! No rush to get done before someone did something to someone or something. If your a mom of small children you know what I mean! Anyway, Joe and I had a great time at the restaurant and after we had a GREAT time at home too. ;)

But the best of all came the next night at my MIL's house. We were invited to have a birthday dinner there for me (she came home from Florida special for me) and she made all of my favorites! Including chocolate mouse cake!!!MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..... Well, Just as dinner was on the table my son very emphatically said we have to do "the prayer". I said "ok Jonathan you start". To this he said "you have to stand up and put your hand over your heart" (this will sound familiar to you Jen) He did so and started "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America..."As we all sat covering our mouths so that he could not see our laughter he finished the entire pledge of allegiance. My MIL was literally crying she was laughing so hard. It was THE cutest thing ever. I love him so very much!

I love my birthday

Today is your birthday Na na na na na na na... It's my birthday to yeah Na na na na na na na!

Gotta go ...to church

So I went back to my old church last night. I wanted to get back into it and yesterday I decided to go. It felt good. I have been feeling a little disconnected from myself lately and going back to church helps me two fold, I get a little God and a little me time too. How much better can that be. Well... maybe a good book, wine and a tub full of bubbles would do the trick too, but that's not in the cards right now.
Anyway, I was in my church choir oh, since I was 13ish. It's how I met one of my bf's and consequently how I met my husband. I could honestly say that if I hadn't gone to church my life would be drastically different. God does work in mysterious ways.
I have been away since the birth of my 3rd child, not that I quit because of her though. I quit because my son started CCD at a church near my house and I thought I should develop a relationship with that church to maintain some continuity. I really like that church, but I couldn't seem to find a place for me. I really left a family at my old church, they are like a favorite pair of old jeans...Familiar, and right now I feel like I need some of that again. I have always felt good about singing. It does something for me. An outlet to be me, Jennifer not the me Mom. Don't get me wrong I love the mom me, but a little self TLC is important. So off I go every Wednesday night and Sunday Morning to my second home. It feels good to be back. Thank you God.

Alone at last

After a hectic morning of taking Jaclyn to the Doctor for a possible UTI, I finally have a moment to myself! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.... The 2 older ones are with daddy and Tante Krissi and the baby is asleep for her nap. What a beautiful sound...Nothing! No one is picking at each other, no one is whining(a favorite thing for Julia to do right now), no one is crying, no is talking, only quiet! What is a girl to do? I can think of many things, but for now I'm savoring this wonderful moment!

Neighbors for dinner

Due to the extreme amount of water we've had my neighbors across the street, as well as all over my neighborhood, flooded. Unfortunately they had to turn off their power(all the sockets were under water) and try to figure out how to pump the water out. We watched them for a while from our window and decided that we had to do something. So we ran an electrical cord across the street and let them use our power so they could hook up an additional pump to try and get the water to go down. We also invited them over to our house for dinner so that they wouldn't have to worry about it. They were grateful and accepted our offer so I suddenly had company for dinner. Of course my house is NEVER company ready so I scurried around to clean up a little, I had Morgan and the kids to deal with, pick up Jonathan from school and then get him to CCD and Spaghetti with meat sauce to make. It was crazy! They arrived at 6:00 to a very busy house. I'm sure the commotion was overwhelming for them considering their children are in college, and they just had an hectic emotional day already. But they seemed to relax a little and enjoy themselves.
After they had left the kids had a bath and went to bed. Jonathan was completely wiped so keeping him from mental breakdown was hard and homework was out of the question. Joe and I were exhausted so I left the dishes for the next day and relaxed (fell asleep in the chair).

Friends for life

These two little
girls don't even know the ride that they're in for.
I picture them growing up together, being friends, caring, fighting, loving each other like sisters. I see them at 16 going to high school, dating (against both of their father wishes) driving, talking on the phone, going to dances. Each with their own personalities, but still friends. They will look at these pictures and wonder how long they've known each other. The answer is since birth.

Ahhh, but that is still a long time coming for now they march together so innocently around the hall, holding each others hand, giggling, and waving.

apples anyone?

We went apple picking yesterday. We drove a little over an hour away to go to an apple orchard which I thought would be quaint and small, but turned out to be a little too commercial. Don't get me wrong, it was fun and we could pick our own apples, and play in the play area, but it was a little pricey and very very busy. Not the quiet family activity I had in mind, but fun none the less. Look at these beautiful pictures, the kids had a marvelous time picking and tasting the apples (take a look under the tree in the 1st picture,Jaclyn is chowing down!).

Thank You

I was talking to Joe on the phone the other day, and I said "I am going to smack Jonathan today, He is really pushing my buttons" and Julia was standing next to me and she said "Thank You".
I was confused so I said to her "what?" and she said "thank you mommy" I said "what are you saying thank you for?" and she looked at me and said "for smacking Jonathan"

I feel the love...Don't You?

Almost dead twice!!

O.k. so we were driving to the tutor today and we were almost killed by a guy in a van who thought he would make a left turn from a parking lot, right in front of me while I was doing, oh, about 50mph!!! Dumb Ass!!!! If it were not for an empty right lane we would have died. No doubt about it!!! I swerved quickly to avoid him and honked my horn loudly and he just looked at me. He drives into oncoming traffic and just looks at me! What the hell is wrong with people!!!

On top of that I was driving out of the tutors sub-division and an old lady who obviously should not be driving starts to pull out of a parking lot (again) and nearly clips me too!! Thank God I was driving slowly and again the lane next to me was empty, but for Pete’s sakes do I have a bull’s eye on my car? I high tailed it home carefully and have not left since.

The Dress

We went to the MIL's yesturday for dinner. Steak mmm...mmm...good! I'm not even prego anymore.

Well, Krissi was trying on a dress she bought for a wedding she's going to and Julia was watching her intently. She kept following her as she walked from the dining room to the kitchen. Finally, touching the dress gently with her hand she says "When this dress gets small can I wear it?". I said "sure julia" and she says "oh thank you mommy" with a big smile and a clap.

Sure she can wear that dress...but only if Joe's dead first! It was long, and black with spaghetti straps...the kind of dress that stops traffic (not slutty, but WOW). Joe will be at the door with a gun for sure! Good luck Julia! You won't be wearing that until you're married!

Jon and Meds

Over the last couple of weeks...maybe months...my husband and I have been debating about giving Jonathan Meds for ADHD . I think today I have decided to do it. I have called the Doctor, who told me on our last visit that she was ready when I was, and I set up a consultation appt. to discuss where to start. I have called a Nutritionist, read many articles on the internet (both pro and con), and discussed with many many people and, as hard as it will be and as scared as I am, I feel that it is in his best interest that we go this route. His ability to learn is suffering so much that if we don't do this soon he will be so behind we won't know how to catch him up. This scares me more than the meds. I want him to be happy in school and so far he is, but kids are cruel and I feel it is only a matter of time before they start to tease him. Anyway, we'll see what happens at our appointment. This has truly been the hardest decision I have ever made. I am crossing my fingers yet again and letting God do his thing. XXXXXXX

The pusification of america

This is what my husband and his cohorts at the f.d. say is happening to our beloved country. It's all about how our citizens are not taking responsibility for thier own actions and how everything has to be p.c.

He was reading the paper the other day when he ran across an article about dogs. It stated that the animal activist are complaining about the term "dog" They say that they don't like it because....dogs are patriots too and they should be called Canine Americans! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!! They are dogs people!!!!! The pusification of America! Over the next couple of weeks I will be blogging about this subject. I can't wait!

To good to be true!

I am going out tonight! I have a scrapbooking party to got to tonight! I can't wait! The boys are going to a Father/son event at the school and I got a babysitter for the girls I am outa here....YIPPEEE !!


My baby litterally just took 2 steps on her own!!!! She's on her way!! God help Me........

Balallet

Yes, I know it is spelled wrong, but this is what my daughter calls her ballet class that she started Monday. She puts her little leg up in the air and her hands on the ground and calls it balallet. It is too cute! Can you tell she loves it! She is my girlie tom-boy! I love it!

September 11th

As the 5th anniversary of the sept.11th attacks approaches I find myself needing to watch all the documentaries on t.v. I watched the Primetime special about all the babies the fathers never knew. I cried through most of that show, I think because I am a mother whose husband is a firefighter. I realize that if I lived in New York at the time of the attacks my husband would be the one dead and I would be one of those women trying to raise their children and holding it together for them. I wonder if, 5 years later, I would be the one who could move on or the one who still has his clothes in the closet. I don't know... I watch these incredible women 5 years later with their children and can't help but admire their courage. I see their beautiful children who are happy and healthy and I remember that life does go on. They are proof that we can heal in the face of adversity and still laugh.

The next show I watched was about flight 93, a documentary on the Discovery channel. It showed a minute by minute account of what happened on the flight that should have gone into the capital. I was amazed at the courage those people had. They knew the plane was going to be used as a missile and they needed to do something about it for their own sake. They felt their only chance for survival was to take the terrorist down and try to land the plane. As it turned out they died anyway, but not before they save hundreds of other people lives by making the terrorists crash the plane into the ground (by the way, they were going so fast and straight that there was literally nothing left of the plane). THEY WON though. They won because they successfully faced the terrorist. They killed the one in the main area of the plane and then broke into the cabin of the plane and tried to kill the rest, I believe if the terrorists hadn't put the plane in the ground they all would have survived except the dirty shit bags who took over the plane. These brave people have inspired me! They have inspired me to take control over my life, to be more proactive, to not just let things happen... to MAKE things happen!!! They are heroes, not because they saved the capital, but because they took control of a very dire situation, and won!

September 11th was about heroes. The people on the plane, the firefighters, the policemen, the people at the pentagon, the widows, the people who helped dig for survivors and then bodies, the men and women in the armed forces, and then us, American citizens who, though scared of what could happen, went on. In doing so we spit at the terrorist and said FUCK YOU!!!

Always remember...

101 things about me.

I saw this on a BLOG on MSN. I thought it was great and I have been writting mine for about 3 weeks. I found it therapeutic, but difficult.

1. I was born in Illinois the early 1970's.

2. I won't tell you where or exactly when, because of creepy ID thieves out there.

3. I have 3 brothers. 1 older and 2 younger.

4. I have always felt like the oldest.

5. My parents have been married over 30 years

6. They were married after my brother was born.

7. I've been a member of the Catholic church since I was 19.

8. I don’t know why I still am.

9. I believe that God exists.

10. I believe that he is good and powerful.

11. I believe that he gives back in life what you put in.

12. I don’t pray even though I want to.

13. I love my good friends…I don’t have many, but I would give the ones I have all I could.

14. They know who I am…the real me.

15. Every one else gets a version.

16. I miss my best friend from High School.

17. I think about him all the time, but never call.

18. I almost failed High School, because I skipped English too many times.

19. I was at my house having a “nooner” with my boy friend.

20. Don’t tell my parents.

21. He is now my husband

22. We NEVER did it at his house because it was sacred, like church!

23. Don’t tell his parents!

24. My first car was gold Ford Granada. It was MY car and I paid $700.00 for it.

25. I got my first kiss at the movies when I was 15.

26. He was the best kisser

27. He was not my first boyfriend though. My first boyfriend was the son of a pastor and he was afraid to kiss me.

28. I have an Associate Degree early childhood education.

29. It took me about 8 years to get it.

30. I have not yet gotten to my four year degree.

31. I will finish it.

32. I love who I am now. What other people think of me is not important.

33. Sometimes I doubt myself though. Especially about being a mom.

34. Being a mom is the hardest job I will ever have in my life.

35. But the most rewarding

36. I LOVE my husband…more than anything on this planet!

37. He is patient and kind to me and the kids.

38. He and I laugh every day.

39. We talk on the phone when he's a work at least twice a day.

40. There's no one better suited for me than him, nor anyone for him than me.

41. He annoys the hell out of me when he forgets the things I tell him only moments earlier.

42. We were both virgins when we met and lost our virginity to each other.

43. I'm very proud of that.

44. We were also both skinny when we married.

45. I'm not very proud of the fact that I'm not skinny anymore, but I accept responsibility for that fact.

46. I want to do something about it, but I keep making stupid excuses.

47. I have 3 kids total .

48. My love for Jonathan, my first born, is overwhelming, and permeates every moment of my life.

49. Jonathan is the one I worry about the most.

50. My love for Julia hit me like a ton of bricks and I will always feel that way.

51. My love for Jaclyn was, in the beginning hard, she cried constantly, but with patience from God it has grown to be rich and bountiful.

52. When she was sick I NEVER once thought she would die.

53. But I cried every moment in the hospital and would have taken her pain as my own if I could have.

54. I have never felt like that before and hope to never feel like that again.

55. I’m crying now just thinking of it.

56. I will not be having any more kids.

57. I am VERY happy with that decision.

58. When I win the lotto I'm getting plastic surgery to restore (as much as possible) the parts of my body that were affected by pregnancy, childbirth, and nursing.

59. I don’t play the lotto.

60. I've loved photography ever since I can remember .

61. I'm actually pretty good at it - especially portrait photography.

62. I watch way too much TV, and I enjoy every minute of it.

63. I love to read.

64. I never do though.

65. I'm an e-mail freak.

66. I love to blog

67. Only one other person knows that I blog.

68. I've been to Europe twice, and plan to go back again and again .

69. I've never been to Hawaii .

70. If I ever spent a day alone, I'd sleep-in, spend the morning at a Spa, take photos all afternoon, read a book in a hammock in the early evening, then watch movies all night.

71. I haven’t spent a day alone since I was married in ’97.

72. I love coffee.

73. I drink it every morning, even though I know it’s bad for me.

74. I used to smoke

75. I miss it daily, but will NEVER go back.

76. I cry when I sing the National Anthem.

77. I cry when I hear sappy songs on the radio too.

78. My favorite color is red.

79. I can honestly say I have no favorite kind of music. There are songs within music categories I don't like, but I like all kinds of music.

80. I don't own an I-Pod, and probably never will.

81. If I did have one I wouldn’t know how to use it

82. I love to scrapbook

83. I love to take pictures more than I love to scrapbook.(see #58)

84. I don't mind cleaning someone else's house, but I hate cleaning my own.

85. My house is never guest ready.

86. I learn something new from my kids every day.

87. I laugh at them every day too.

88. No outfit feels more comfortable to me than a t-shirt and a great pair of jeans

89. I don’t ever take more than a 3-5 minute shower.

90. I don’t always shower everyday.

91. I am not good at writing thank you notes.

92. I like watching cartoons with my kids.

93. I catch myself watching them even when they aren’t.

94. I have an ability to remember songs.

95. I love to sing.

96. I can’t stand singing alone.

97. I am too poor to stay home with my kids.

98. We live in debt so I can.

99. Joe and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

100. Life is too short and they are only young once.

101. I am thankful for all that I do have, a loving husband, 3 healthy children, and a God that loves me.

In hell for too long

I have left the sad day in hell up too long! I am not completely over my day(a week later), but I did have a great week so the day's negativity is moving on.

I was shocked to hear the news today about Steve Irwin. I know the man was nuts, but I really appreciate what he did for the world as an environmentalist. I mean, I never once thought about crocs. or any other animal for that matter until he came to TV. He was a good man who entertained millions of people (including my son) and saved many animals lives...he will be missed.

On a happier note my children are the light of the world! I can not believe that God has blessed me with three beautiful, healthy, happy children. I look at their faces daily and wonder what I did to deserve them. Their laughter makes my heart sing and dance! Yesterday we lit a fire in the pit on the driveway and roasted marshmallows. We listened to the music playing at a nearby street fair and danced. I took pictures that may or may not turn out. It was great. I hope to have many more nights like that. Picture perfect.

a sad day in hell

What a cold, rainy, sad, shitty, crappy day from hell! It started out with a funeral. Not just any funeral, but the funeral of our beloved Auntie Marge. My mother’s aunt...only 69... died of an aggressive bone cancer last week and the funeral was today. She was a beautiful fun loving woman with a sassy personality and a huge heart. Her grandchildren sang and played instruments...her children spoke...and everyone wept. It was heartbreaking! I saw her more than most of my extended family and loved her more too. I know she is in heaven with God and Jesus having a party and maybe a sip of champagne (she was too scared to touch the stuff in real life because of alcoholism that ran in her family). She can be proud of her family for such an out pouring of love. It was amazing!

Anyway, her passing has brought the reality of my own grandparent’s mortality. I can't help but ponder what it will be like when they pass. I think about what I will say and really get myself depressed.

Later, I went to my son’s curriculum night at school and I felt like crying while the teacher talked of what they will learn. At that point I switch gears and start thinking about my son’s education. I began to worry about if he will be capable of keeping up with the class. I kept wondering if any of what she was saying applied to us. I leave there feeling quite helpless and I go home and cry a little. Which actually made me feel a little better.

At that point I couldn't take it anymore and I went to bed. Let that day end.

Thank God.

The never ending day...

The never ending day! I am writing this blog not because I have anything great to say, but because I don't have any one to say anything to. 2 out of 3 children just woke up from a quiet rest time and they are quietly watching a little t.v. My neighbors are out with their parents (they are always here) and I just finished the chores I wanted to do today with the exception of the bathroom (Jaclyn is still asleep and I don't want to wake her). These included cleaning the upper and lower floors of my house and setting up a Christmas gift for the in-laws! My husband is gone for 2 1/2 days, this is the 2nd day, and when he's gone life gets pretty dull. Don't get me wrong, my life is not necessarily boring, just redundant. The same crazy kids doing the same crazy things day after day after day... The only new thing that has happened is that Jaclyn is climbing on the coffee table and sitting in the middle like she's the queen of the world and she is cutting 3 teeth! I guess the problem with me today is that I don't know how to appreciate the times when life slows down. We are always on the go...especially in the summer. When life hands you a break, what do you do?

First day of First Gade

Today we have reached a milestone in life...the first day of first grade! The year that your baby is REALLY not a baby any more! Kindergarten is hard they go to school yes, but they come home 2 hours later! Not much different than pre-school...but 1st grade...they stay all day, eat lunch there and have school books! Not at all like Kindergarten! I feel a little sad (the whole baby thing), and VERY nervous! What will this year be like? Will he be liked? Will he succeed? Will he overcome all of his obstacles? I have confidence in the way we have set him up for this year. The special ed classes should help him greatly and his teacher was hand picked by his previous teacher (whom I loved) The future is bright, but there are soooooooooooo many questions.

So far I like his teacher; she seems nice and pretty put together. I can not help but question, question, question. I will have to let go and pray that God will take care of us the way he always does. That is my only option, the year will unfold as it should and we will learn as we go along.

And we're back!

And we're back from our vacation! We really had a good time! On the way there we drove at a good pace. The children were fantastic Jonathan and Julia were able to play together and watch movies. Thank GOD for portable T.V.s, we have a small T.V. that we bring along on vacation up north, not only for the car, but for the cabin as well. It is a life Savor! It took us about 8 or 9 hours to get there, which is much longer than in the past, but things change when there are children involved! We arrived in town and stopped for groceries right away. 3 children in the store after being in the car for 9 hours...you can guess it was a nightmare! We were smart and made a list of what we needed and got everything as quickly as possible! This is part of the lake where the cabin is! It is great! The water is a little low beacause of a drought, but it was still pretty! Here is a picture of Jonathan with the first fish of the trip! He said he was "the best fisherman EVER!!!" and of this trip he was with a grand total of about 10. Not all edible, but still he had fun!

Julia had a great time too. She fish with her Barbie fishing rod and loved every minute of it! She didn't have a real hook on her pole and I felt terrible about it, but she was just swinging her pole around a lot. Having 2 crazy kids not paying attention with a loaded weapon sounds dangerous to me so the little one lost out. There's always next year!

And then there was Jaclie...the baby was sick the entire time! She was a trooper though. But, she hated that winnie the pooh life jacket we made her wear!!! We eventually asked Julia to wear it and Jaclyn wore hers. That worked.

We spent hours on the lake and enjoyed our quiet relaxing time! Uncle Franz is a great man! he put up with us the whole time and really enjoyed the kids! He shares his home every year with us and is about as excited to see us as we are to see him! I'm glad to be able to spend time with him every year Especially because and he's not getting any younger and time is valuable! Our chidren will remember him as an Opa not just an uncle! What a great vacation!

Well, back to life now! Bills, cleaning, laundry. All still here! At least I'm refreshed and ready to go! Speaking of I've I got to get back to it!
See ya!

Vacation!

I am off! I will go to sleep now and when I get up we will leave...thank you GOD!!!

My daughters performance went very well. She was happy and didn't get spooked by all of the people. Good for her! Jonathan, however, was not so lucky. He went out there and danced and did great until he fell. Poor little guy. He didn't get hurt, but his embarassment made him cry. He made my heart break so I went on the dance floor, calmed him down and he was able to finish the dance...with a smile:) Good for him! Look at them aren't they adorable! I could eat them both!
I am sooooooooooo tired now ao I am going to bed.
Good night!

The picture test

Hey I'm trying this picture thing! This is my family! Joe, Julia, Jonathan and Jaclyn! Aren't they great! Sitting with thier #1 dad and loving every minute of it.

Today has been a good day, I am still trying to pack and get things together for our trip. I am also trying to clean. I am almost done with the babies room and I am finished with the two boneheads room. On to my room and the rest of the house! Yeah for me!


My baby is mastering shaking her head NO! I think it is so cute, but I know when she is done I will pay for her new trick! So far she has been pretty willing to do anything and now she has the power! Let's hope she never learns that she has a choice!
Julia's first dance is tomorrow! I'm looking foward to it! She is still a novice, but in time she will be dragging the boy she's dancing with around! It never changes! I' ll write tomorrow and let you know how it turns out! Maybe I will have pictures!!!! See ya!

messy, messy, messy

My house is a mess and I don't want to do anything about it! I am so tired that the idea of cleaning makes me cringe! I just want to sit around all day and watch my kids and TV all day! Sadly that is a pipe dream. I have to do something otherwise someone is going to call DCFS or something on me. No it's not that bad, but...


We go on vacation soon and I can't wait. We will be in a little cabin next to a lake. I can't wait to be looking out the big picture window out onto the lake seeing my children fish with their dad. BEAUTIFUL!!! Maybe I will put some pictures on the blog, if I can figure out how! We will have to leave on Tuesday instead of Monday because we are having our crawlspace cemented. YEAH! Finally something that will actually make our house better is being done! We borrowed the money for it, but it will definitely be worth every penny!!! It will give us more storage and maybe a playroom??? We'll see how clean it turns out to be! As for our vacation, we will just come back a day later. That will give us at least a week. I have to get ready and start packing. The idea of packing up three children scares me, but it has to get done! I need to make sure I don't go overboard, that is the hard part! My goal is 2 bags, one for the kids ans one for us...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good Luck to me!

I had better get cleaning... See ya!

Morgan...day one

I started watching Morgan today. A friend of mine was in a jam with child care and she asked me if I can watch her daughter 2 days a week. I agreed at $40 a day (which is pennies). I know that it is not much, but I also know my friend does not have the money and it is only until December. Anyway, she is 15months old, only 3 months older than Jaclyn, but she is huge! It is very deceiving because her size does not correlate to her behavior and you forget that she is still a baby. She has been excellent though. She is all over me and that has created a little jealousy between the girls, but in time they will learn to share. Over all the day was great. We went to a pool party for Joe's work. It was great fun! The children went down the water slide and Jonathan jumped off the diving board. It was comfy outside (a great break from the heat of the day) and with good food and lots of drinks we really enjoyed ourselves. Anyway, I'm board already with this particular blob so I bet you are too, see ya!

"HI Joe's SEX shop"

I have to say this is one of the funniest things my son has ever done! Picture this... Saturday morning and we are lying in bed waiting for "daddy" to come home. Everyone is in my bed (good grief) and he finally walks in the door. We hide under the covers (like they always do) and we scare him while he's "looking" for us. We say our hellos and the phone rings. I look at it and see that it is Joe's mom and I hand it to Joe. Joe hands it to Jonathan and tells him to say HI. Jonathan clicks the phone on and says..."Hi, Joe's sex shop." We broke up into hysterical laughter! I was laughing so hard I cried! Meanwhile Joe's mom didn't quite hear him and Joe recovers long enough to explain why we were in hysterics. I looked at Joe and said, "He is so your son!"
But seriously I have no idea where he picked that up and I hope he doesn’t do it again. I thought it was funny, but embarrassing too.

We had our first sleep over last night. I would call it a success! He didn't cry or anything so it was good. We went swimming, watched movies and ate pizza, popcorn and ice cream what more could you want from a sleep over!!! His parents picked him up this morning and then it was over. Generally the entire experience was painless.

Anyway, we go on vacation in a week I can't wait! I will explain more another day!

See Ya

I suck

I have gotten out of bed the last two days with the best of intentions, however by the time I get down the stairs I have yelled at two of my three children (about what I don't know) and my mood has plummeted down the drain. I am certainly in control of myself, but my rotten attitude is definitely putting me on edge. I don't know what is wrong with me...I suck!!!! I guess I can blame it on my period, which is expected shortly. I just feel like that isn't a good enough excuse.
What complicates matters more is that my husband is at work again for two days and I will not have a break until Saturday and we will have company all day. I would like to find the silver lining, but with my mood today it sounds so fake to me. I am just going to keep active and go to the pool, that way I won't spend any money, or sell my children... Maybe that will do me some good. I'll cross my fingers. XXXXX

Bare butt monkey

After having a wonderful time at the zoo, Jonathan decided that his favorite exhibit was the monkeys. He especially liked "the bare butt monkeys". We all know which one he is referring to. They walk around the zoo with their big red fannies sticking up in the air! A Baboon? YES that is it! Anyway, my son decided that this morning he WAS "the bare butt monkey" He proceeded to pull down the back of his p.j.'s and, with a naked butt, he jumped and climbed around on the couch screaming "oo oo aa aa I'm the bare butt monkey". If that wasn't funny enough Julia thought that it looked like fun and she joined him. So now I have two children jumping around the house as the bare butt monkeys. Absolutely made my day!

The long day is over and my husband will be back tomorrow...Thank God! I get tired of the 48 hour stretches. They don't happen very often, but lately more often than I'd like. You see he is a firefighter, 24 hours on and 48 hours off... and when he needs to take a day off he can use a personal day or he can switch with someone else on another shift... the problem is that he has to pay it back. Well, earlier this year he was taking a class, he borrowed a lot of days, and now he has to pay them back. It has been torturous!

Today is the anniversary of the day we started dating. 16 years ago today my husband and I became monogomous! Yes, I was about 15 and he was 19. I loved him then and I love him more now. I could't imagine my life any other way. That feels good and I miss him tonight...

I go now to watch 4 weddings and a funeral, the only thing on that I feel like watching. See ya.

AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

My son came back safe and sound ~whew~ I was watching t.v. and there was an amber alert. I almost s!@#t myself! I knew it wasn't him, but it did not help my confidence.

Tonight I am so tired that it will probably take me an hour to write this. I feel like they have sucked the life out of me. It was not an exceptionally hard night , but after going to bed late and not sleeping very well I feel like my day could not come to an end soon enough. Hold on...

I just had to go wipe my daughters butt because she created "two lumpy dumpies" Definitely not a perk to my full time job, but it is a cute way of saying poop. It is 9:00pm now and they are still not asleep. I just ignore their constant banter back and forth to each other, they eventually go to sleep. Jonathan (6) and Julia (3) share a room in our crowded three bedroom house. I get a kick out of the two of them. I wonder what they are doing and what they talk about. I assume that the majority of the time it is Julia who instigates the activity, mainly because she has had a nap and isn't quite tired yet, but occasionally I hear Jonathan moving around. Who knows and as long as no one gets out of bed, who cares.

Jaclyn (1) gets her own room, because I don't need her up until 9pm too. She at least goes to bed and is quiet.

It is quiet now... maybe they have finally threw in the towel. I am going to go upstairs and watch t.v. See Ya!

the zoo...

As I sit here in front of my computer I think about how niave my son is and how vulnerable. He is 6 years old and I just sent him on a field trip to the zoo...with his 16 year old camp counselor! Am I stupid! My son is a good little boy, but he would forget his head if it wern't attached to him! Anyway, I'm letting go and allowing him some freedom. However, I have spent the last two days reviewing his address and phone number so that in the event he should get lost maybe he can find his way home. I suppose I should introduce myseld as Jen, a stay-at-home mom with 3 children. I want to see if this thing works, I can't seem to get this blog started...